In Arabic (Qur’anic and Hadits) there are at least four words that have some thing to do with happiness. They are sa’adah (happy), falah (lucky), najat (secure) and najah (succeed). Saadah (happy) implies a gift from God after experiencing various difficulties, while falah is finding a thing that has been looked for (idrak al bughyah). There are two kinds of falah, worldly falah and otherworldly falah. Worldly falah is having happiness which makes living in this world comfortable, which are finding (a) (limited) eternality; long life, permanent health, always-fulfilled necessities, and so on, (b) wealth; possessing things more than what are needed, and (c) social honor. Meanwhile, otherworldly falah consists of (a) unlimited eternality, (b) wealth without requiring anything any longer, (c) honor without any humiliation, and (d) knowledge so that there is no anything that we don’t know.


Najat is happiness felt when one is free from a frightening threat, for example the feeling had by one when a judge pronounces him to be freed from a criminal sentence, when the president grants him a pardon, or when knowing one’s family had survived a tsunami. Meanwhile, najah, is happiness felt by one since things desired are obtained whereas one possibly had been pessimistic about obtaining them. For example, a poor family is najah (succeed) when all of its sons and daughter at last become bachelors

Gladness has a horizontal nature, while happiness may have horizontal and vertical natures. We will probably able to explain our gladness, but we will find it more difficult to explain our happiness. Tears of happiness may replace words that are unable to express happiness. Prof. Fuad Hasan in his book Pengalaman Naik Haji (Hajj Experience) admits that he can’t explain why he was crying in front of Ka’bah when he did hajj, since the happiness he felt was vertical, a form of gift not achievement.

A lot of spouses have their tears down their faces when saying marriage contract, and so do their parents, and they all can’t explain their happiness.
Happiness has something to do with difficulties experienced. The true happiness in a household living isn’t exist when a marriage contract is said, not in honeymoon, but when the pair prove that they have been able to sail across the ocean of life to reach the beach of destination and in their destination they see their children and grandchildren become successful and honorable persons.

A man will be very suffering if in his old age he sees his children and grand children suffering and humiliated, although previously his ship of household’s journey has been full of success stories. Happiness usually comes after successful people overcoming continuous difficulties, but not all difficulties will bring us to the true happiness.

According to a hadith of Prophet Muhammad, there are four pillars of happiness in a household living: (1) loyal wife/husband, (2) dedicated children, (3) healthy social environment, and (4) livelihood that is at hand (easy to obtain). Loyalty of one’s wife/husband makes one calm and proud, dedicated children make them one’s sweethearts, a good social environment eliminates one’s anxiety, and livelihood which is easy to obtain stimulates one’s optimism, idealism, and imagination.
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Anyone who decides to have a family clearly hopes happiness in his/her family, although we may have different perceptions on what happiness is. Happiness is highly subjective but universal. Some people become happy after getting something in abundance; while others become happy although they get something in less quantity. Some people become happy after getting something easily, while others only become happy after do some efforts to get something. There are temporary happiness, long lasting happiness, and permanent happiness.


Definition of happiness

There are two terms discussed here, glad and happy. Glad is our feeling when our syahwah (motive)’s demands are fulfilled. For example, we will be glad finding delicious food when we are hungry, finding fresh drink when we are thirsty, finding easiness after have been in difficulty, meeting a friend or a lover when we are lonely, and finding a good job after being unemployed for a long time. Meanwhile, happiness has something with a very subjective mystery, but in principle it is a condition when a divine aid is coming so we acquire a thing regarded as a divine goodness (al khoir).

We are happy, for example, when our first son/daughter is born after for a very long time we have desired for having a son/daughter. In general, having a child is not regarded as a special achievement. The father of the child may say that the son was born since he had the ability to “make” him. A father or mother, however, who at last has a newly-born child after almost feeling hopeless in desiring the baby would feel that the birth of the baby was an invaluable gift of God. As another example, a mother had brought up her daughter without husband and despite of difficulties she had always hoped that her daughter would have a bright future. She is very happy when a pious young man with a bright future marries her daughter. The bright future of her daughter is not claimed to be her achievement but is really regarded as gift or blessing of God.

Hence, this happiness comes after long difficulties but when it finally comes it isn’t regarded as one’s achievement. Others would also comment that the mother had worked very hard by facing various difficulties in bringing up her daughter alone, so she deserves a “perfect” happiness as a gift from God.
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Self-concept and Etiquette

Wise men say that whoever understands his own self will understand his God. Anyone who understands his own anatomy, physically and psychologically, will conclude that however excellent human is, he has a lot of limitations. He will also realise that human excellence doesn’t exist without based on a concept designed by the Most Excellent or God. Man with all of his complexities is a manifestation (tajalli) of greatness of Allah The Creator, The Great, The Supreme Being.

Therefore, one who understands his own self will obey God, will feel equal to others, will respect older people and care younger people. One who negates God won’t know understand his own self. A person who is arrogant and who regards himself as the most excellent by underestimating others will be blind about himself. Only strong people can be modest and demeaning their own selves, since demeaning needs power. On the contrary, one can be an inferior person who doesn’t have self-confidence due to his lack of knowledge about potentials within his own self.
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Concept is signs and symbols in the mind. Thinking is working by using those signs and symbols of a certain thing so that there’s no need to manifest the actual thing in the place in which the thinking person is present. In his mind, one can present so many things, beyond space and time. There are, however, people who can think big, and people who can think in a limited way. By thinking, we can answer questions, making decisions, and create new things.

Self-concept is one’s view and feeling about himself or herself. Self-concept may be physical, psychic, and social. For example, a girl who thinks she’s pretty confidently enters a party room, but a female-student that is lazy although beautiful feels unconfident when entering an examination room. A governor’s son doesn’t seem to be worry when he was stopped by a policeman for violating a traffic sign, but a “ojeg” driver soon asks for “underhand settlement” after stopped by a policeman. One, who feels that he is able to solve a problem, will probably actually solve the problem, while one who often thinks that he’s stupid will probably be a real stupid person.

Two things influence the development of self-concept:
First, people in general. For example, one who is often praised as a clever man and had received many certificates will develop a strong self-confidence and will be really a clever man. Meanwhile, another person who is often regarded as stupid and embarrassed in front of public will probably be a real stupid person who often feels inferior to others.

Second, reference groups. For example, some time in the past I was lacking of self-confidence in introducing Islamic (indigenous) psychology, since a lot of my Western psychologists friends regarded Islamic psychology as doesn’t exist. At that time I was only able to introduce a Psychology that adopts Islamic notions not exactly an Islamic indigenous Psychology. After I had been inaugurated as a Professor of Islamic Psychology and had been appreciated by the President of The International Association of Moslem Psychologist, Prof Malik Badri, who regarded me as the first Professor around the world on the subject of Islamic Psychology, I have enough self-confident to introduce and spread the notion of Islamic Psychology. Now I even intend to promote Islamic Psychology to be the Psychology’s Fifth School of Thought after previous schools of psychology: Psychoanalysis, Behaviourism, Cognitism, and Humanistic Psychology
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