Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Anyone who decides to have a family clearly hopes happiness in his/her family, although we may have different perceptions on what happiness is. Happiness is highly subjective but universal. Some people become happy after getting something in abundance; while others become happy although they get something in less quantity. Some people become happy after getting something easily, while others only become happy after do some efforts to get something. There are temporary happiness, long lasting happiness, and permanent happiness.


Definition of happiness

There are two terms discussed here, glad and happy. Glad is our feeling when our syahwah (motive)’s demands are fulfilled. For example, we will be glad finding delicious food when we are hungry, finding fresh drink when we are thirsty, finding easiness after have been in difficulty, meeting a friend or a lover when we are lonely, and finding a good job after being unemployed for a long time. Meanwhile, happiness has something with a very subjective mystery, but in principle it is a condition when a divine aid is coming so we acquire a thing regarded as a divine goodness (al khoir).

We are happy, for example, when our first son/daughter is born after for a very long time we have desired for having a son/daughter. In general, having a child is not regarded as a special achievement. The father of the child may say that the son was born since he had the ability to “make” him. A father or mother, however, who at last has a newly-born child after almost feeling hopeless in desiring the baby would feel that the birth of the baby was an invaluable gift of God. As another example, a mother had brought up her daughter without husband and despite of difficulties she had always hoped that her daughter would have a bright future. She is very happy when a pious young man with a bright future marries her daughter. The bright future of her daughter is not claimed to be her achievement but is really regarded as gift or blessing of God.

Hence, this happiness comes after long difficulties but when it finally comes it isn’t regarded as one’s achievement. Others would also comment that the mother had worked very hard by facing various difficulties in bringing up her daughter alone, so she deserves a “perfect” happiness as a gift from God.