Thursday, January 17, 2008
Five Requirements of Sakinah Family
at 8:10 PM
Society is a reflection of families within it. If families are healthy then the society is also healthy. If families are happy then the society is also happy. There are 5 factors required to establish a sakinah family:1. There are mawaddah and rahmah (Q: 30: 21) in the family. Mawaddah is a burning love that is flaring up and seducing, while rahmah is a smooth love whose owner is ready to sacrifice himself and to protect the beloved ones. Mawaddah alone isn’t sufficient to secure the household’s continuity; on the contrary, rahmah will develop mawaddah from time to time.
2. Interactions between husband and wife should be based on interdependence, like a apparel and the person wearing it (hunna libasun lakum wa antum libasun lahunna, (Q: 2:187). There are three functions of apparel: (a) closing awrah, (b) protecting the wearer from heat and cold, and (b) adornment. A husband to his wife and vice versa should function in the three aspects. If the wife has a weakness, then her husband shouldn’t tell it to others, and vice versa. If the wife is sick, her husband should find medicine or take her to a doctor. A wife should have appearance making her husband proud and vice versa, a husband also should have appearance making his wife proud. This following contrary situation shouldn’t happen: appear attractive outside, but look annoying at home.
3. In socializing, a husband and his wife should consider things socially regarded as decent (ma’ruf), not merely right, Wa`a syiruhunna bil ma`ruf (Q: 4:19). Amount of mahar, subsistence, methods of socializing and so on should consider ma’ruf values. These are should be considered especially by a couple coming from highly different cultures. Wa`a syiruhunna bil ma`ruf (Q: 4:19).
4. According to a hadith of Prophet Muhammad, there are five pillars for a sakinah family (idza aradallohu bi ahli baitin khoiran and so on): (a) having tendency to religion of Islam, (b) the younger respect the elder, and the elder care about the younger, (c) simple (economic) in shopping, (d) well-mannered in socializing, and (e) always be introspective.
5. According to another hadith, four things will cause happiness in a family (arba`un min sa`adat al marâi): (a) pious (loyal) husband/wife, (b) dedicated sons and daughters, (c) healthy social environment, (e) near/easy-to-get subsistence.
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